Mary Allen
So far, the cat has been the queen of childless households. And now a baby is coming. Spoiled cats can be quite difficult to react to. But with a few tricks, problems can be avoided.
Cats don’t particularly like children. Because children are unpredictable for them. They don’t approach you slowly, they run – they probably want to pet you, but maybe also want to pull your tail. How does a cat know that? That’s why she prefers to flee immediately when a child is approaching. It’s different when she’s used to them, having grown up with children. Then there can be deep friendships between child and cat.
But what happens when a child is added to the hitherto childless household, in which the cat was the undisputed queen? One that is not just a visitor, but has a permanent place in the home? Well, it’s not running yet, just lying there. But it makes noise and above all: It gets all the attention from its mistress and master that the cat has been given until now. And she, the once-beloved cat, is now just a problem. She lies down in the little one’s bed, suddenly pees in the apartment react aggressively to attempts to make advances… It’s not uncommon for new parents to see only one way out: to an animal shelter.
It doesn’t have to and shouldn’t come to that. Even a spoiled cat can live with a new family if its owners take a few things into account. “Cats generally have trouble with abrupt changes,” says Gloria Isler, animal psychology consultant with her own practice in Baar ZG*. Therefore, ideally, you should take a few precautions during pregnancy to prepare the cat step by step for what is to come.
Well Prepared is Half the Battle
For example when setting up the children’s room. “If possible, you rebuild the room little by little, not all at once and not at the last moment.” Especially if the room was previously the room in which the cat had its preferred sleeping place. Then there is enough time to prepare a new nest for her and to slowly get used to it. So that she likes it, Isler recommends dealing with the animal a little more intensively in the new location. “And when everything is ready, you lock the room.” From then on, the children’s room is no longer the territory of the cat.
It also doesn’t belong in the cot, which could be dangerous for a baby that can’t roll over itself yet. However, because the parents like to leave the door open to hear the baby, a cat slips in from time to time and lies down with the baby in the cot. Not out of malicious intent, says the animal psychologist, “but because cats love body heat”. Her tip: a doorstop that can be used to reduce the gap to a minimum.
Jealousy Remains While not all cats are the same, one that has been the center of attention until the arrival of the new family member will struggle. Because one thing is clear, says Gloria Isler, “when the baby is born, it is the center of the universe”. Therefore, she recommends gradually reducing attention to the cat diva early on, i.e. during pregnancy. Not to zero, of course, but simply in such a way that over time you become more aware of it instead of constantly dealing with it.
The Initial Phase is the Most Important
Once the baby is there, it’s about creating “positive connections” with him. That means: talking to the cat, stroking it, or playing with it when the little one is there. Or just let the cat lie next to you while breastfeeding. The “positive connection” for the cat is then, says the animal psychologist: “When the baby is in the room, I’m fine.” Some parents made the mistake of only hanging out with the cat when the baby is asleep or out of the house. This is understandable because an infant really gives a lot to do, but it creates a “negative connection” between the cat and him. In the sense of “I’m happy when the child is gone”.
It’s all about surviving the initial phase well. Once that’s done, nothing should stand in the way of family happiness with a cat. And it is absolutely possible that a deep friendship between child and cat will grow out of this.