UMary Allen
Okokuqala, kufuneka kuthiwe yinto eqhelekileyo ukuba inja ikhonkothe. Unxibelelana nathi ngokukhonkotha.
Logama nje oku kungaphakathi kwemida kwaye ungayiseta ngemiyalelo, yonke into ilungile.
Nangona kunjalo, ukuba unemvakalelo yokuba umhlobo wakho onoboya uhlala ekhonkotha kwaye engalawulekiyo, kufuneka uwuphande lo mbandela.
Ayinabungozi kumhlobo wakho onemilenze emine ukuba ukhonkotha kakhulu. Nangona kunjalo, kuluxinzelelo kakhulu kuye, kuwe, kwaye kunokwenzeka nakwabangaphandle, njengabahlobo okanye abanye abaqeshi.
Kubalulekile ke ngoko ukuba uqonde ukuba kutheni isithandwa sakho sikhonkotha kakhulu. Kuba kuphela kwendlela onokumnceda ngayo.
Ngamafutshane: inja ikhonkotha rhoqo
Ukuba unemvakalelo yokuba impumlo yoboya bakho bukhonkotha ngokugqithiseleyo, kunokubakho izizathu ezahlukahlukeneyo. Usenokuba akazithembanga okanye unexhala. Ke kubalulekile ukuba ubonakale uzolile kwaye uzinzile, kuba oku kuya kwenza umhlobo wakho onoboya azive ezithembile.
Esinye isizathu isenokuba kukuba lowo umthandayo ukruqukile okanye unamandla agqithisileyo. Ukuba oku kunjalo, kufuneka ucele umngeni rhoqo kwisilwanyana sakho ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo.
Inja yakho ikhonkotha ngalo lonke ixesha xa iyodwa? Ngoko kusenokwenzeka ukuba uziva elahliwe yaye elilolo. Ufanele umqeqeshe ukuba abe yedwa.
Inja ikhonkotha rhoqo - 3 izizathu zokuziphatha
Kuhle ukwazi:
Kwiimeko ezinqabileyo, intlungu okanye ezinye iintlungu ezinxulumene nesifo nazo zisemva kokukhonkotha. Ke ukuba ufumanisa ukuba inja yakho ikhonkotha ngokuqhubekayo kwaye awukwazi ukufumana isizathu esicacileyo, unokufuna ukuqhagamshelana nogqirha.
1. inja yakho iyoyika
Ukuba ufumana iqabane lakho likhonkotha kuyo yonke into esendleleni yalo, inokuba kungenxa yoloyiko.
Ukuba ukhonkotha abantu abahambahambayo okanye abakutyelelayo ekhaya, kusenokwenzeka ukuba ubona ngathi uyingozi yaye ufuna ukukwazisa.
Ukungazithembi okunjalo kunokubangelwa yintlungu yexesha elidluleyo. Kwimeko efana nale, yinkxaso enkulu kumhlobo wakho onoboya ukuba uhlala uzolile kwaye uzinzile. Kuba ke uyaqonda ukuba akukho sisongelo kwaye ubonakala ezithemba ngakumbi.
2. inja yakho ililolo
Abahlobo bethu abanemilenze emine bazizidalwa zoluntu kwaye baqhele ukuhlala kwiipakethi. Ngoko ke, kunzima kubo ukuhlala bodwa ixesha elide.
Izinja ziyakhonkotha xa ziziva zodwa okanye zizigcine zixakekile. Oku kunokubacaphukisa kakhulu, ngakumbi kubamelwane. Ke ngoko, kubalulekile ukuba uziqhelanise nokuba wedwa nomhlobo wakho onoboya.
3. Inja yakho inamandla amaninzi
Ukuba awuceli umngeni isilwanyana sakho sasekhaya ngokwaneleyo ngokwasemzimbeni nasengqondweni, sinokukhonkotha ngenxa yokukruquka. Uthatha yonke into encinci njengethuba lokuqala ukukhonkotha ngokungalawulekiyo.
Eli xolo ke lisebenza njengendawo yokuphuma kumhlobo wakho ukuba akhulule nawaphi na amandla avalelweyo.
Kuyimfuneko ke ngoko ukuba ucele umngeni rhoqo kumhlobo wakho onemilenze emine ngokwasemzimbeni nasengqondweni. Kuba inja exakekileyo kuphela yinja ezolileyo.
Inja ikhonkotha ngalo lonke ixesha – nantsi indlela yokutshintsha le ndlela yokuziphatha
Xa ndibuzwa ukuba ndingayinqanda na inja yam ukuba ingakhonkothi, inye kuphela impendulo: Hayi!
Umhlobo wakho onemilenze emine unxibelelana ngokukhonkotha kwaye ngaloo ndlela uyakwazisa. Nangona kunjalo, kuya kufuneka ukwazi ukuyilawula ngendlela elawulwayo kwaye uyilawule ngemiyalelo emiselweyo.
Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba kutheni isilwanyana sakho sikhonkotha, kuba neenjana zikhonkotha ngalo lonke ixesha. Ukuba ufumanisa unobangela woku kusemva kwexesha, kuya kuba nzima kakhulu ukulawula ukukhonkotha kwenja yakho. Emva koko kunokwenzeka ukuba ngaxa lithile ibe yinto edinayo.
Yenza inja izive ikhuselekile
Akukhathaliseki nokuba inja yakho iyakhonkotha xa usiya kubethwa ngumoya okanye xa kukhala intsimbi yomnyango.
Kubalulekile ukuba uphendule ngokuzolileyo xa ukhonkotha. Ukuba nawe uyakhuza ngale ndlela yokuziphatha, idala uxinzelelo ngakumbi kwimeko.
Hlala uzolile kwaye ulawule ukukhonkotha. Oku kusebenza ngcono ngemiyalelo efundiweyo efana no "yeka" okanye "cima".
Njengomnini wenja, kufuneka unike umhlobo wakho onoboya isakhiwo kunye nokhuseleko. Oku kwandisa umqobo wakhe wokuthintela amaxolo.
Umhlobo wakho onemilenze emine ufuna imithetho eqinileyo kunye nomnini ongaguqukiyo ukuze azive ekhuselekile. Thembeka kwisilwanyana sakho kwaye umbonise ukuba unokuthembela kuwe.
Gcina inja ixakekile ngokudlala
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba unike isithandwa sakho amathuba aneleyo okuhamba. Umele enze umthambo rhoqo emzimbeni nasengqondweni.
Lonto ithetha ukuba akwanelanga ukuba umkhaphe kabini okanye kathathu.
Yakha imidlalo yokuqonda kuhambo lwakho ekwavuselela ingqondo yeqabane lakho elithembekileyo. Ungamfundisa amaqhinga omhlobo wakho onoboya okanye ucele umngeni kubo ngemidlalo yokuzifihla nokufuna.
Kuba unomntu ohlala naye olungeleleneyo kuphela ukuba usebenzisa umhlobo wakho onemilenze emine ngokwaneleyo.
Esinye isiphumo esihle semidlalo enjalo kukuba uphucula ubudlelwane kunye nenja yakho ngaxeshanye. Oku kumnika ukhuseleko kunye nokuthembela kuwe kwakhona.
Ngoko unako ukuyilawula ngcono ngexesha leemeko zoxinzelelo.
Kuhle ukwazi:
Xa inja “ikwishumi elivisayo” isoloko ikhonkotha ngakumbi. Oku kunokwenzeka kwisigaba sokuqala kunye nakwisigaba sesibini. Kodwa le ndlela yokuziphatha inokulungiswa, nokuba kufuneka umonde ongakumbi kunabantu abadala.
Isiphelo: Inja yam ikhonkotha rhoqo
Isishwankathelo, kunokuthiwa yinto eqhelekileyo ukuba umhlobo wakho onoboya uyakhonkotha. Yindlela yakhe yokuzibonakalisa.
Ke ngoko, akufanele ugwebe onke amaxolo entanda yakho. Kodwa ukuba ihamba ngendlela ekukhathazayo wena nabanye abantu, kufuneka wenze okuthile ngayo. Ukukhonkotha akufuneki kudlulele ngaphaya komda wokunxibelelana nawe.
Njengoko kuninzi loqeqesho lwezinja, ukwakha izithintelo zokukhonkotha kuthatha ixesha elininzi kunye nomonde. Sukubuza kakhulu kwiqabane lakho kwaye udumise yonke impumelelo encinci.
Emva koko akukho nto iya kuma endleleni yokubambisana ngaphandle koxinzelelo.