UMary Allen
Ngaba inja yakho iyakhonkotha ebantwini? Akukhathaliseki nokuba ngabasemzini, ngabamelwane, okanye ziindwendwe: Ukuba impumlo enoboya iphaphazela ngokuvakalayo ngalo lonke ixesha unondwendwe okanye udlula umntu ohambayo, idinwa ngokulinganayo kubahlobo abanemilenze emibini nabane. Ngomonde omncinci, nangona kunjalo, unokufumana le ndlela yokuziphatha phantsi kolawulo.
Izinja banamathuba ambalwa kakhulu okuzivakalisa ngomlomo. Inja ikhonkotha abantu abangabaziyo ngezizathu ezahlukahlukeneyo. Ukuba ufuna ukuyekisa iqabane lakho lesilwanyana ekubeni likhonkothe, kufuneka uqale ufumanise injongo yomhlobo wakho onemilenze emine: Kutheni inja yakho ikhonkotha kwabanye abantu?
Ukukhonkotha njengeNdlela yoNxibelelwano oluQhelekileyo
Ngokungafaniyo nabantu, izinja azinalo uluhlu olubanzi lweenketho zokunxibelelana ngomlomo. Ngoko ke ukukhonkotha kunokubonakalisa uvuyo okanye uloyiko, kutsalel’ ingqalelo kwiintswelo ezinjengokulamba okanye ukubethwa ngumoya, okanye kwanokude athi: “Le yintsimi yam. Hamba!". Ezinye iintlobo zezilwanyana ngokuqhelekileyo "zithetha" ngakumbi kunezinye, njengeBeagles, Terriers, okanye i-Miniature Schnauzers.
Ngokuqhelekileyo unokugqiba ukuba yintoni inja yakho efuna ukuyithetha ngokuthe ngqo kwimeko kunye nolwimi lomzimba wakhe. Zama ukuphendula le mibuzo ilandelayo:
- Ngawaphi amaqela abantu akhonkothwayo: amadoda, abantwana, abakhweli beebhayisikile, abantu abanempahla ethile?
- Ngaba ukhonkotha kuphela xa utyelele ekhaya okanye naxa uyobethwa ngumoya?
- Iqala kumgama ongakanani inja yakho ukukhonkotha?
Inyathelo lokuqala lokunciphisa ukukhonkotha kukunikela ingqalelo kumhlobo wakho onoboya.
Ukukhonkotha Kukhupha Amandla
Izinja zizidalwa zesiqhelo. Amaxesha amaninzi yayiziinkosi okanye iinkosikazi ezazingena emnyango. Nje ukuba kuviwe into emnyango, umhlobo onemilenze emine wakha amandla amaninzi okubulisa umniniyo ngovuyo, akhawuleze ukuya emnyango, emva koko-ayisiyiyo loo mntu uthandwayo wesalathiso, kodwa umntu ongamaziyo angena naye ngokuzenzekelayo. jongana noMhlophe. Onke la mandla akasenayo indawo aya kuyo kwaye ngokufuthi azikhupha ngokukhonkotha okuzenzekelayo.
Izinja ezikhuliswe ngaphandle kokugqithiswa ukubingelela amasiko anqabile kakhulu ukukhonkotha iindwendwe. Ngokomzekelo, izinja zokukhusela kufuneka zifundiswe ngokusebenzayo ukuyeka (ukwenza ingxolo) kwakhona, kuba uqeqesho lwazo luzenza zibe stoic kakhulu ukuba zive isidingo sokwenza oko ngokwazo.
Inja Exhalabileyo Ikhonkotha Abantu: Umqondiso Wokungakhuseleki
Ukukhonkotha kunokuba yinto yokucinga xa inja yakho ingaqinisekanga okanye isoyika. Thatha olu loyiko nzulu kwaye wenze ngaphandle kokukhuthaza inja ukuba ikhonkothe. Ukuphumla okusemgangathweni okanye ukuphazamiseka kunokunceda, kodwa azisebenzi kuyo yonke imeko. Okokugqibela, unokwenza, umzekelo, uthethe ngokuthula kwisilwanyana sakho kwaye uzidelele kwi-trigger yokwesaba (umntu, ingxolo, okanye efanayo).
Ukuphumla okunemiqathango, kwelinye icala, kufuna umsebenzi wokuqala. Ziqhelise igama elithile lomqondiso kunye nenja yakho, odibanisa ngokukodwa kwimeko ekhululekile kuye. Umzekelo, phulula okanye uphulule inja yakho kwaye uthi "zola" okanye "lula". Inja yakho iya kufunda ukudibanisa igama kunye nemeko ekhululekile. Emva kokuziqhelanisa okuncinci, impumlo enoboya ngokuqhelekileyo iyakwazi ukuzola ngokuzenzekelayo ekuphenduleni igama lomqondiso, nakwiimeko eziphazamisayo.
Ekuhambeni kwexesha, nangona kunjalo, kuya kufuneka wakhe ukuzithemba kwenja yakho, njengokuphuma ngakumbi kwaye uziqhelanise nezinto eziphazamisayo. Ukuba kuyimfuneko, fumana uncedo kugqirha wezilwanyana okanye kwi isazi ngengqondo yezilwanyana.
Ukukhonkotha kwiiNgxaki zoMmandla
Enyanisweni, ukukhonkotha ekhaya kunokuba luphawu lwengxaki engaphaya kwemida. Ingakumbi ukuba ukukhonkotha okugqithisileyo akwenzeki nje kuphela xa undwendwe lufika kodwa lubangelwa zizinto ezincinane, njengokuvuka kondwendwe etafileni. Inja yakho ikhonkotha ngamandla ebantwini kuba ibabona njengabahlaseli kwintsimi yayo.
Nika umhlobo wakho onemilenze emine ukhuseleko ngokumbonisa ukuba unokuthembela kuwe njengoyena ” inkokheli wepakethe ” kwaye uyayazi into omawuyenze. Nika inja izithuba ezisisigxina ezizezakhe, ngelixa yonke indlu iyisizinda sakho.
Amanyathelo ama-4 okuyeka inja yakho ukukhonkotha abantu
- Sibonelo: ngubani lo ukhonkothwayo? Ukhonkotha nini kwaye phi?
- Qaphela imiqondiso kwaye uyeke ukukhonkotha ngaphambi kokuba iqale
- Ukuphazamisa ukukhonkotha ngokusebenzisa imiqondiso echaseneyo (umzekelo, qeqesha uphawu lokumisa olufana “nokuthula”, olusetyenziswa kuphela ukuyeka ukukhonkotha, kwaye uvuze umhlobo wakho onoboya ngokuziphatha ngendlela eyiyo)
- I-desensitization yexesha elide kunye ne-counterconditioning
Yeka ukuKhonkotha ngokuQinisa Okulungileyo kuphela
Ibuyiselo umhlobo wakho onoboya ngokuhlala uzolile kwindawo yayo xa kukhala intsimbi yokungena emnyango, okanye uphazamise inja yakho kwiimeko ezimandundu ngeeseshoni zokudlala. Ukuzola kunye nomonde zizinto zonke kunye nesiphelo-konke ekuqeqesheni inja. Ukuba uyamthethisa umhlobo wakho onemilenze emine, uya kukuqonda ngcono njengokukhonkotha umva kwicala lakho kwaye azive efuna ukukhonkotha ngakumbi.